Russells Random Thoughts

The great job hunt

2009-03-20T17:56:00.000-07:00

I'm still in Kerry.

For those of you that know me, this is a great disappointment to me. For the last six weeks or so I have been sending CVs to shops, fast food places, cafes and factories in the cork city area.

All of these places are looking for staff, yet I get no reply when i send my CV to these places, it is a slow and very frustrating process, so I'm venting here as I'm sure my boyfriend has had enough of my venting on this issue!!!!!

I know we are in the middle of a recession, but I've been employed since the age of 15 and am now 26 and for the first time in my life I can't find employment, so if you know of any jobs in Cork city, please do... let me know!

Time, Time, Time

2009-01-07T08:43:00.000-08:00

Ah secondary school. What a life.

I hated school, it has to be said, but I lived for my friends and the time we spent together.

Ladies and gentlemen I am a nerd. And as a nerd, like attracts like, and therefore most of my friends are nerds. Nerd is a hard word to define, but what I mean by nerd is that I and my friends have always loved nerdy games such magic: the gathering, dungeons and dragons and games-workshop related strategy games.

When my friends and I were at secondary school, we lived for the evening and sleep was for the weak! I don't know how many times my mother came down for her cup of tea at seven in the morning, and there we were - unwashed and bleary eyed, facing our next threat as a group. School was but a side-stepped necessity of life. (I would like to point out however, that we were a fairly intelligent bunch of people and did average to well in the Leaving Certificate!)

I'm now 26 and about to sit my honours degree exams at college where I barely get the chance to "nerd out" once every two weeks. Between a 35 hour a week job this year, and a 9 hour college week (plus assignments and a hefty research project) I simply have no time for my number one passion and I miss it.

Readers I put it to you - growing up and accepting more responsibilities simply isn't as cracked up is its made out to be. I long for the days of 24 hour long geek sessions, as unhealthy as it was, it was fun. It was tremendous fun. When we do get to play, which as i mentioned earlier is twice a month it I'm lucky, we manage to get a three to four hour session in, then people start to think of getting up in the morning for work/college or getting home to study for that vital exam.

I'm nearly finished college, and I'm about to embark on a move to Cork city and luckily enough, my boyfriend has developed an interest in Magic: the Gathering (I can see his obsession becoming as unhealthy as mine), but will i role-play again to any meaningful degree? I don't know. And that thought scares me.

Coming Out - My Experience

2009-01-05T11:43:00.001-08:00

If you are gay, coming out can be a daunting and bewildering experience.

Imagine how much more difficult this is in rural Ireland. This is my story and boy has it been an interesting year.

Please note, dates are guessed as close as I can ascertain.

Early January 2008

My life as it stands is pretty normal to the unsuspecting viewer. I am in a relationship with a woman, and have been with this person for two years. All thoughts of gay life have been banished pretty much to the back of my mind. It is a normal life, filled with normal prospects. I'm in 4th year of college, about to sit my exams and about to embark on an eight month work placement.

Nothing excites me anymore. Something is missing.

Mid April 2008

I'm not sure whats going on. My relationship has ended, and I don't know why. I know I have been restless, I know i wasn't as attentive, but i thought i was doing everything right. Friends and family come to the fore to support me, but I can't help but feel like change is on the horizon.

My placement is going well. I'm getting into the routine. I hate routine. I live my life by routines.

Late May 2008

I'm online.

I'm on Gaydar, looking to arrange a coffee meet with someone. Anyone in Kerry. I happen to get chatting to a nice guy in Tralee, which is where i work at the moment, so I think why not? things may be looking up! Tomorrow might be interesting. A break from routine.

I'm standing at the bus stop at five o clock in the evening. The last bus back to my home town is at seven, so I have two hours to chat with this new guy. He greets me warmly, he's a lovely pleasant guy and we go for coffee. We end up chatting for the entire night (yes i missed my bus). But was a gentleman and i slept on his couch. Within two weeks we were going out.

Early June 2008

I'm staying at my new boyfriend's house more than my own. Questions are being asked. Mainly "were are you?"

I start to panic. There's something wrong.

I begin to formulate a fabrication. I'm going out with a girl called Geraldine who lives in tralee, she doesn't drive and its just easier for me to stay at her place. My friends and family accept this. For now.

Mid June 2008

I'm online.

I'm on Gaydar again, just chatting! I have actually made some online friends on Gaydar and on occasion i pop into the chat room on the site to speak to them.

A guy from Kerry starts to talk to me in a very genuine manner. He doesn't want to meet me, randomly sleep with me or "out" me, he used to live in Listowel and simply wanted to chat. His name is James and he's about to change my life, though I don't know it yet.

James tells me he's a member of the Kerry Gay & Lesbian Project and also attends meetings in Listowel with the North Kerry and West Limerick Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual & Transgender (LGBT) support group.

I'm shocked.

I tell my current boyfriend about these, and we start attending meetings and gay social nights. I start to think routines are for straight people only.

I start to love my work placement.

Early July 2008

I've just about to come out to my best friend.

I'm shaking like a leaf. I begin to tell cheesy jokes to ease myself. I finally turn to him and say "what's the one thing about me you don't know?" My best friend looks at me and says: "you're gay?"

He thinks I'm joking.

It took a while to explain to him that I wasn't joking, that I was in a male-male relationship and that I'm happier now.

He shakes my hand. He tells me he's happy for me, and he asks why I didn't tell him years ago. I had come out to my first straight friend at the age of 26.

I'm making fast friends with members of the LGBT. I start to learn that not only is it great to have support, but it is great to have gay friends if you are gay. In fact, I would say it is essential to have gay friends if you are gay.

Life is good, but my boyfriend is starting to irritate me. I have no interest in him.

Mid August 2008

I'm at Galway Gay Pride. I am having the time of my life.

My straight best friend marches in the parade with me and even comes to the gay club on the first night.

It was at Galway pride I made the decision to stop hiding.

I love my work placement. The prospect of it ending actually saddens me.

Late August 2008

I'm single again. But I don't mind.

I'm out to everyone I work with, all my friends, and my family. I'm content. I have been on/off chatting with a very interesting guy from Cork on gaydar for a while now. I always have a laugh when he's online.

Back to college soon.

Early September 2008

I scored at Limerick pride!

I can't believe it, i just went for it and kissed this guy! My first gay kiss on a night out! wow!

Late September 2008

I'm in Freakscene (which is a partially gay club in Cork, Ireland) on a gay night out with some friends of mine.

Oh my god, that guy is here who I've been talking to online, and he's absolutely snoggable.

I panic.

I run to my friends "he's here! what do i do?" They are to drunk to care.

I notice his friend, the guy from Cork is nowhere to be seen. He's coming back right? He must be. I start dancing near his friend. My Cork friend from Gaydar appears at some point, and before I know it I'm kissing him.

I was only supposed to be in Cork for one night. I went home three days later.

The guy's name is Stephen Spillane and i met him for drinks and dancing every night I was in cork, i think i now believe in love at first sight because of this guy.

Today

I'm in love.

I've been to two gay pride events.

I have a close group of gay and straight friends.

Routine is out the window (I'm up and down to cork like a yo yo.)

I'm the happiest I've ever been.

I had a very quick coming out experience and a very pleasurable one. No one shunned me, no one hated me for it, everyone supported the reasons I took so long to do it, and most of my friends have met Stephen and they think we make a great couple, and for that matter so do I.

Coming out in rural Ireland? I managed it and you can too. Its honestly not as hard as you think.

I promise.

Homo/Hetero sexual.. big deal

2008-12-29T11:14:00.000-08:00

Hi.

My name is Russell and I have a boyfriend. Yes Russell is a male name and you read that right, I'm gay. How do you feel about that?

I was asked at work recently by an older member of staff "so are you and he all lovey-dovey like 'normal' couples", to which I replied "of course". I could see the look of disgust cross her face and decided to drop the matter.

It got me wondering though, how are gay couples perceived in the 'normal', or heterosexual world.

I had discussed with this woman about how I was in love with my boyfriend, trips we had planned, nights we had planned, all to no real reaction, just normal responses like "lovely" or "great" and "good for you". But then I got the above reaction. It seems to me that homosexuality is OK with some people, as long as they don't hear the details (and with details I'm talking of "it was great to give him a hug and a kiss at the bus stop"). None of the above of course is considered out of the ordinary in a male-female coupling. It didn't bug me, I just found it interesting. She didn't witness any of my tender moments, but the thought of it was unsettling to her.

Thoughts?

Teaching Magic

2008-11-28T05:32:00.000-08:00

So here we are at my first blog.

I live in Listowel, co. Kerry. Now on a Sunday in Listowel, there is very little to do aside from lounge around the house, maybe catch up with friends or recover from a hangover.

My boyfriend visited recently and as such we found very little to do on the Sunday, and he had mentioned a desire to learn how to play my favorite card game: Magic: The Gathering.

Now I have had limited success actually teaching this game, as I play at a relatively high level, and I thought to myself, "how do you teach a new player a game that is as complex and vast as its evolved 16 year history?". While struggling with this question, I came to a sudden realization. The question I should have been asking is "how did I learn how to play magic?".

With this sudden realization came action. And that action was to make 5 single colour decks, using only cards from core sets from 8th edition and 9th edition (i didn't want to confuse him with different card frames, or the black bordered frames of 10th edition). We played several games while i explained key concepts to him along the way, those being:

What is the advantage of playing first or drawing
What are each colours strengths and weaknesses
The difference and importance between playing cards in your first and second main phases
Colour efficiency (why does green get a 2/2 for 2 mana and red and black get the same for 3 mana?, why does blue prefer to react?)
Why you add mana to your mana pool, and how to use it

Now I like to think my teaching technique was good, but also i must say my boyfriend is a quick learner and very intelligent, but when i visited him in cork he had already caught the addiciton, having bought two theme decks, and he surprised me by making a play that takes an age to learn with some people. He had a Nettle Sentinel in play. He proceeded to play a green spell in his first main phase. I was just about to correct him, when he himself saw the problem. He immediately withdrew the spell, untapped his lands and declared an attack with his sentinel (thus playing his green spell in the second main phase and untapping his sentinel). Wow! maybe his fourth game of magic and he was already making strategic use of the phases.

So, what do you think of teaching magic to new players? start with single colour decks, then move to theme decks? what other suggestions do you have?

This is a test

2008-11-27T16:02:00.001-08:00

First time blogger, so just testing the waters with this, ignore if you can!